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I pulled out my i Phone as my trusted companion and focused my attention on a few chats with friends. I learned that he was a 44-year-old golf professional from New Zealand who was at the tail end of a divorce after 16 years of marriage, and had two young children under the age of 10.Soon, a man sat down, also alone, across from me and one seat over. When I asked him what the most important thing was that his wife didn’t know he was thinking (or feeling) as they approached the end of their marriage, he told me that he didn’t want the divorce anywhere near as much as he thought he did.

can ever be “just” friends – that is to say, can a friendship exist without sexual or romantic attraction “ruining” the relationship.

“You shouldn't tell your friends any secrets or private things your boyfriend entrusts in you,” says Suzanne Oshima, dating coach at Single in Stilettos.

“Don't even think for a moment that it would be okay to just tell your best friend.” Oshima says the consequences of doing so are dire. Because if your boyfriend ever finds out that you shared something that he entrusted in you, he will never trust you again with anything else that he holds near and dear to his heart,” she says.

You share your thoughts, your feelings, your bodies, and over time you define these experiences—inevitably, and quite possibly inaccurately—as love.

The trouble is, this sense of intimacy eventually dissipates as stories become known, feelings become anticipated, and sex becomes familiar. It’s by virtue of the way they naturally are—the things they value, the questions they ask, the thoughts they consider, the stands they take, the actions to which they commit.

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